WE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO CARE IN A DIFFERENT WAY
People with addiction have developed a denial system that protects them from the painful reality, of the adverse consequences of their addiction. An intervention is a carefully planned process whereby family members, loved ones, friends or employers who are concerned about someones addiction and arrange a meeting where the addict is made aware of the impact, their addiction has on them and others. They then present the addict with help inform of a treatment program. If the addict refuses the help the other participant in the intervention present the addict with conditions and boundaries that will be put in place if they refuse the help. The intervention is conducted in a non-threatening manner and motivated by love and concern for the addict.
HOW DOES A TYPICAL INTERVENTION WORK?
An intervention usually includes the following steps:
1. Make a plan. A family member or friend proposes an intervention and forms a planning group. It’s best if you consult with a qualified professional counselor, an addiction professional, to help you organize an effective intervention. An intervention is a highly charged situation with the potential to cause anger, resentment or a sense of betrayal.
2. Gather information. The group members find out about the extent of your loved one’s problem and research the condition and treatment programs. The group may initiate arrangements to enroll your loved one in a specific treatment program.
3. Form the intervention team. The planning group forms a team that will personally participate in the intervention. Team members set a date and location and work together to present a consistent, rehearsed message and a structured plan. Often, nonfamily members of the team help keep the discussion focused on the facts of the problem and shared solutions rather than strong emotional responses. Don’t let your loved one know what you’re doing until the day of the intervention.
4. Decide on specific consequences. If your loved one doesn’t accept treatment, each person on the team needs to decide what action he or she will take. For example, you may decide to ask your loved one to move out.
5. Make notes on what to say. Each team member describes specific incidents where the addiction caused problems, such as emotional or financial issues. Discuss the toll of your loved one’s behavior while still expressing care and the expectation that he or she can change. Your loved one can’t argue with facts or with your emotional response to the problem. For example begin by saying “I was upset and hurt when you drank …”
6. Hold the intervention meeting. Without revealing the reason, your loved one with the addiction is asked to the intervention site. Members of the team then take turns expressing their concerns and feelings. Your loved one is presented with a treatment option and asked to accept that option on the spot. Each team member will say what specific changes he or she will make if your loved one doesn’t accept the plan. Don’t threaten a consequence unless you’re ready to follow through with it.
SHARING IS CARING
