Ambivalence is the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something. During this state, it is impossible to make a decision.
We find that addicts in active addiction are in a state of ambivalence. The ambivalence is about whether they have a problem with their drug of choice. To complicate matters, the defence mechanism of denial is present in active addiction, which skews reality, making it virtually impossible to resolve the addict’s ambivalence.
So what are the contradictory thoughts keeping addicts in a state of ambivalence? On the one hand, you have the facts regarding the adverse effects of addiction e.g the hurt and pain caused to self and loved ones and despite this continuing to use the drug of choice. This is strong evidence that the person’s using is out of control. The addict doesn’t like to look at these facts however, they are too obvious to deny. Loved ones are often constantly reminding the addict of the addiction problem. What is the contradictory argument then, there is often a secondary gain or payoff the addict receives from the addiction? The obvious is the intoxication which can be pleasurable. The not so obvious to others and sometimes the addict as well is how the addiction serves as a maladaptive coping mechanism for the addict. This could be an emotional and psychological coping mechanism. Sometimes depending on the severity of the addiction, it helps the addict function, i.e if they do not use a certain amount of their drug of choice they suffer from withdrawal and renders them incapable of doing much. So they believe that their using helps them to function, which is a distortion of reality. The belief that they will not cope with life is a common belief of addicts, however often they are too ashamed to admit it to themselves or others. These beliefs build a case for continuing to use. It begs the question then, an addict who believes this and continues to use, are they sitting on the fence of stopping, or by not choosing to stop, is that in itself a choice to carry on.
If so they are then too ashamed to admit that they have chosen to carry on using or they are too afraid of how their loved ones will respond to this declaration, and thus the manipulation and the games continue.
In my opinion, making an informed decision and taking responsibility for that decisions is the goal of an addiction treatment process, no matter what the decision. So helping people resolve their ambivalence i.e get off the fence and choose a side is a fundamental part of any addict seeking clarity about their addiction. This is evident in the programme of the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous were in Step 1 you identify the problem Step 2 you believe there is a solution for you and Step 3, with the knowledge of the first two steps you can make an informed decision, “Made a decision to ….” about returning to the problem or seeking the solution. And once you have chosen the solution, you take responsibility for your decision, by being thrown into the action of the rest of the steps.
One can remain on the fence, in a state of ambivalence for ages, some people for decades. Straddling a fence can be uncomfortable and painful.
Get off the fence!
SHARING IS CARING
