Addiction is a progressive disease with different degrees of severity.
The trajectory of severity depends on various factors, e.g. the substance and comorbid disorders etc. Often people with a moderate level of severity of a substance use disorder, experience adverse consequences due to their consumption. They may decide to abstain from consuming the substance and do so for a while, however, they then return to consuming the substance and experience the same or worse adverse consequences.
Why can they not adhere to their intention and decision regarding abstinence from the substance? Excluding the obvious, such as craving, peer pressure direct or indirect or denial etc, sometimes the person underestimates the strong relationship with the substance.
Like with any other termination of a relationship, there is a period of grieving. However, due to the damages caused as the result of the consumption of the substance, the person may be conflicted when they have these thoughts and feelings of missing the substance. They believe they should not be feeling this way and attempt to suppress their feelings and thoughts. They believe having thoughts and feelings of missing their substance, means that they do not care for the affected significant others or that they are not serious about their commitment to abstinence. I have found denying the grief of the substance results in psychological and emotional stress which puts one at high risk for relapse. Being honest with yourself about your relationship with the substance will result in a more realistic view of your vulnerability to relapse and inform your decisions.
The other factor which is also related to the grieving of the substance is the anger one feels about not having the option of consuming with control, like others. Once again this anger, which is a normal stage of grief, can cause conflict within the person. They might believe that they do not have the right to feel angry due to all the pain they have caused others. Thus they will not dare disclose this to their loved ones for fear of being judged as uncaring. So they suppress it, as best they can. However, this unresolved anger can turn into resentment and be projected onto their loved ones. Their anger could manifest as blaming their loved ones for forcing them to abstain from the substance. I have seen many people relapse in a fit of rage. Once again we encourage people to acknowledge this anger and express it in an appropriately safe way. This will allow them to move through the stages of their grief, to where they accept that their relationship with their substance is over.
Are you needing a non-judgemental space to talk honestly about your relationship with your substance?
SHARING IS CARING
