Couples & Family Counselling
Addiction exists in a system (family or relationship). The system often unwittingly supports, perpetuates the addiction and maintains the status quo. It is said that addiction affects at least 16 people around them. When the addict embarks on a journey of recovery the people closest to the addict are left with, residue emotions often anger, fear for relapse and confusion of how to support and relate to the recovering addict. It is suggested that the family changes with the addict. Old ineffective relationship dynamics need to be explored and new behavior needs to be applied e.g. setting boundaries and communicating effectively.
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For counselling, assessments & recommendations and interventions please contact me.
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“ Today is the only day you have control over. Choose recovery, choose yourself. ”
MISCONCEPTIONS OF ADDICTION
The stigmatization of addition is still rife. Not just in the general public domain but also with individuals who have an addiction. The misconception of addiction...
RESTLESSNESS IRRITABILITY AND DIS-CONTENTEDNESS (R.I.D)
Addiction robs one of many things, tangible and material things and intangible like our morality, value boundaries, hope and purpose. I have heard many individuals in...
FEAR OF STOPPING
One of the criteria for addiction is to continue to use a drug/behaviour of choice despite negative consequences. This is one of the most frustrating aspects of...
BARGAINING
The denial component of the disease of addiction is primarily regarding the amount of control over the consumption of the substance or behaviour of choice. An example...
NOT Y.E.T.
There is a theory that for one to be truly open for recovery from an addiction, one needs to hit rock bottom first. There has also been a concerted effort made into...
WANTING TO WANT TO STOP.
Loss of control/impaired control over the consumption of mind and mood-altering substances or behaviours are at the root of the addiction. This suggests that the choice...
RESISTANCE
At the core of addiction is the phenomena of loss of/ impaired control over the consumption of mind and mood-altering substances or mind and mind-altering behaviour. No...
RECOVERY AND RELAPSE
Addiction is described as a chronic relapsing condition and we see this in the majority of people who are attempting abstinence from their drug of choice. Although...
SACRIFICE TO RECOVER
I am reminded daily about the misconceptions out there with regards to addiction. Firstly the preconceived ideas about what addiction is and then what the solution is...
ADDICTION A PROGRESSIVE AND DEGENERATIVE CONDITION
Addiction is a progressive and degenerative disease. It becomes worst over time. I have observed this progression in individuals who have remained in active addiction...
PROTECTING THE ADDICTION
Families and loved-ones of addicts and alcoholics are shocked when they become aware of the extent of the addicts using and the adverse consequences thereof. This is...
ABSTINENCE VS CONTROLLED USE
The majority of people who use alcohol and mood or mind-altering substances are what we call recreational users. They are capable of using these substances with...
COPING MECHANISM VS ADDICTION
I have heard many reasons why people started using mind-and-mood-altering substances. They range from escaping reality, coping with trauma, social lubricant, managing...
“I DON’T WANT TO STOP” WHAT NOW?
It is one of the most painful experiences to watch a loved one, child, sibling or parent slowly kill themselves through there addiction to drugs and alcohol. One cannot...
SITTING ON THE FENCE
Ambivalence is the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something. During this state, it is impossible to make a decision. We find that addicts...
BAD VS SICK
In this day and age, the stigmatization of mental illness is still prevalent. This includes the illness of addiction. Some of the attitudes towards addiction e.g....
GRIEVING YOUR SUBSTANCE
Addiction is a progressive disease with different degrees of severity. The trajectory of severity depends on various factors, e.g. the substance and comorbid disorders...
GAMBLING ADDICTION
Behavioural (Process) additions are as destructive as an addiction to a substance. Examples of the behavioural addictions are Gambling, Gaming, Pornography, Sex and...
PATTERNS OF CONSUMPTION
The general public has their perception of what addiction looks like. People with addiction who are in denial also have a misconception what addiction looks like,...
SPLITTING
One of the methods addicts use to manipulate their significant others is though splitting the alliance these people are making against the addict's addiction. The...
BELIEFS WHICH KEEP YOU STUCK
We all have core beliefs formulated from our past experiences, passed on to us by our family system, and other factors from the past. Most of the time these beliefs are...
THE DISEASE OF FORGETFULNESS
Addiction has been described as a disease which tells you that you do not have the disease. This means that part of having the disease is believing that you do not have...
CROSS ADDICTION
More and more we experiencing individuals who have concurrent addictions. This means that they have several drug of choices, often the substances and or behaviours...
ADJUSTMENT
As mentioned in my previous post, people close to the addict often do not have access to the support and help which the addict has when they enter into recovery. They...
BEING RESTORED TO SANITY
Living in active addiction distorts our perception of reality. Being in denial of our addiction for years entrenches our denial system. Our thinking is geared to...
DENIAL IN THE FAMILY SYSTEM
We are more familiar with the denial system of the addict, which served to protect addicts against the painful reality of their lives. But we are less familiar with the...